Storehouse of Laughter – Chapter 9




An unmarried girl happened to see her father naked, and asked her mother about his body. Her mother was embarrassed and said: “Those are just his guts.” Eventually the girl got married, and came back to visit her parents. The mother was worried that the son-in-law was poor, and confided this in her daughter. The daughter replied: “He may be poor, but he’s got plenty of guts!”



Bottomless sedan

A new bride was on her way to be married, when the bottom suddenly fell out of her sedan-chair. The chair-bearers conferred with each other, and told the bride that they could not continue. They had to get a new sedan-chair, but it was a long way if they wanted to turn back. The bride heard this, and said: “I have a plan.” They were all cheered, and asked what it was. She said: “You can carry on as usual on the outside, and I’ll stay inside and walk.”



The stolen bride

A man from a poor family was about to marry a bride from a rich family. The groom’s family was afraid that the bride’s family would break the engagement, and so on the appointed day, the groom went in to snatch the bride. By mistake, he grabbed the bride’s maiden aunt. The bride’s family chased after him, calling out: “You’ve grabbed the wrong person!” The maiden aunt on his back said: “Don’t mind them, I’m the right one, keep running!”



Not good

A new bride was lying with her husband on the bridal night. When he put it in, she said: “Not good.” He suggested that he pull it out, and she said once again: “Not good.” He was at a loss, and asked her what she wanted. She replied: “I want you to put it in and pull it out.”




A man was persuading his new bride to disrobe. She said: “My mother told me that being naked is shameful. I cannot disobey my mother. But my husband tells me to disrobe, and I cannot disobey my husband either.” She was in a state of indecision, and her husband was pressing on her, when she said: “I know what to do – I’ll only disrobe my lower garments, and with this I can obey both of you!”




Making trouble

A man was lying with his wife on their bridal night. As he took her, he said: “Your father was always making trouble, but today I get my way!” And with this, he thrust once. And again he said: “Your mother was always making trouble, but today I get my way!” And he thrust again. Once more he said: “Your brother didn’t even bother to say a word to me, but today I get my way!” He thrust again, and then was spent. The bride said: “My sister-in-law is also always bad mouthing you!”

It’s a pity that the bride herself was not also causing trouble, else there could have been one more round.



Using pillows

A girl was married off to someone from another village. When she came back to visit her parents, her mother asked: “Do they have the same customs in the other village?” She replied: “Only that they use pillows differently. In our village we put them under our heads. Over there they put them under the hips.”



Prawns are said to be an aphrodisiac. At dinner, a boy was about to eat some when his mother suddenly said: “Why don’t you leave these for your father.” The son asked: “Why does father have to eat these?” The mother said: “My boy, you’ll understand when you get married.”




A guest was at lunch, when the conversation turned to gourds, which were supposed to diminish the libido, unlike leeks which fortify it. Soon afterward, the host realized that the new dishes were not coming to the table. He asked his son what was the problem, and his son replied: “Mother has gone to the garden.” “What is she doing there?” “She went to uproot the gourds and plant more leeks.”




Insolent child

A couple were having sex. The wife cried out in the throes of passion: “I’m dying! I’m dying!” Their two sons were huddled together in their bed. When the elder son heard this, he couldn’t help but laugh. Their mother was furious and whacked him on the head. The younger son said: “Brother deserved it because when he heard that Mama was dying he laughed instead of crying.”


Insolent child (2)

A couple wanted to have sex in the daytime, but were annoyed that their child was hanging around, and so told him to go to Auntie Wang’s house next door to play. The son went but then came back. The mother scolded him: “What are you doing back here?” The son said: “Over at Auntie Wang’s they are doing the same thing.”



Crying to the heavens above

A wife wanted to know why one is said to “cry to the heavens above” when one’s husband dies. She was told: “In the act of making love, the husband is on top. Therefore one refers to the heavens above.” The wife thought about it silently for a while, and then said: “When a wife dies, one sometimes also cries to the heavens above.”




Switching beds

An old man wanted to sleep with his daughter-in-law, but she told his wife about it. The mother-in-law said: “Don’t worry. Hide yourself tonight. I have a plan.” She went to her daughter-in-law’s bed, put out the light, and went under the covers. Deep in the night, the old man actually turned up. Thinking that it was his daughter-in-law, they carried on in bed with great delight. Once it was over, the old woman said to him: “You old rascal. The only thing that was different tonight was the bed. Why were you so much more excited?”

A similar story was said about a seller of antiques. His wife swapped places with his daughter-in-law, and the old man went to feel her up. The old woman wedged him tightly and concealed her identity. He mistook her for the daughter-in-law, and so expressed his delight that she was much better than his own wife. At this point she scolded him saying: “You smelly old rascal. You can’t even recognize something old, and you call yourself an antiques dealer?”



Father explains

An old man was sleeping with his daughter-in-law when his son barged into the room. He accused his father of going against all that is right. His father retorted: “What do you mean, all that is right? You sleep with my daughter-in-law, so why can’t I sleep with your wife?”



Beauty spot

Someone said that if one’s wife has a beauty spot on her privates, she would definitely bear one a son. A man heard this and was glad, saying: “So my sister-in-law will be soon giving our household a son!” “How would you know if your sister in law has a beauty spot down there?” He replied: “My father told my wife, and my wife told me.”



Struck by lightning

A man was journeying when he saw someone from his home village. He asked if there was any news from home, and the other man said: “One day there was a big thunderstorm that killed several people. They were all men who slept with their daughters-in-law.” The man was shocked and asked: “Is my father alright?” The reply: “Your father’s alright, but your grandfather has passed on.”


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