Storehouse of Laughter – Chapter 13



Making people

The Jade Emperor was taking a stroll, when he saw a husband and wife in the bedroom. He asked the Earth God what they were doing, and he replied: “They’re making people.” “How many people can they make in a year?” “Just one.” “If that’s the case, why are they moving so frantically?”



Body and soul

A man was making thunder in the bedroom with his wife, but his wife said: “Your body is here, but your heart is with your concubine.” The husband replied: “If that’s so, would you rather that my body be with her and my heart be here?”



Losing at chess

There was a chess player who lost three games in a row to the same opponent. The next day, someone asked him about it: “How many games did you play with him yesterday?” “Three” “How many did you win and lose?” “The first game I didn’t win. The second, he didn’t lose. The third, well I wanted to draw, but he wouldn’t let me.”



Seeing the emperor

A dandy returned from the capital, and boasted that he had seen the emperor. Someone asked him: “What’s the view like from the emperor’s doorway?” He replied: “On the four pillars are words engraved in gold – ‘Imperial Lineage”; over the great doorway are more golden words ‘Residence of the Son of Heaven’; beside are a couplet that reads ‘Sun and moon radiate the righteousness of heaven / Mountains and rivers strengthen the abode of empire’.” Another asked him: “What does the emperor wear?” He replied: “On his head is a hat made of fine jade. On his body, a robe made of pure gold.” His questioner said: “You must be lying. How can anyone wear a robe hammered from gold? He wouldn’t be able to bend over.” The dandy replied: “You really don’t know much about the world – the emperor bends and bows before nobody!”


Falling down

A man had fallen down. When he got up, he fell down again. He said: “If I had known that I would fall down again, I wouldn’t have bothered getting up!”


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