Storehouse of Laughter – Chapter 11

揵踢

一童子弄揵子。偶踢下井。乃俯視井。對影哭曰。還了我。父問之。訴曰。揵子為井中兒所[収]。父亦臨井。見己影謂曰。汝家兒子要踢揵子。我家兒子難道不要的。

Shuttlecock

A boy was playing with a shuttlecock, but accidentally kicked it into a well. He looked down into the well, and saw his own reflection. Crying, he said: “Return it to me!” His father heard this, and said: “The shuttlecock has been taken by the boy in the well.” He also went to the well, and saw his own reflection there, saying: “Your boy wants to play with the shuttlecock, but that doesn’t mean my boy shouldn’t get a chance to play!”

行令

一人出令曰。春雨如膏。或疑為糕也。曰。夏雨如饅頭。或又疑為夏禹也。曰。周文王像塔餅。

Toast

Someone was making a toast, and said: “The spring rains are like a balm (gao).” Someone heard balm as cake (gao), and said: “Then the summer rains are like a bun.” Someone else heard summer rain (xiayu) as King Yu of Xia, and said: “King Wen of Zhou was like a wedding cake.”

劈柴

父子同劈一柴。父執柯悞傷子指。子罵曰。老烏龜。汝眼瞎耶。孫在旁。見祖被罵。意不平。遽曰。直娘賊。不識道理。父親可是罵得的。

Splitting wood

A father and son were splitting wood together. The father lost his grip on the axe and accidentally hurt his son’s finger. The son cried out: “You clumsy old tortoise! Are you blind?” The grandson was standing by; he felt indignant on seeing his grandfather being scolded, and unexpectedly said: “You son of a gun, don’t you have any principles? How dare you scold your father?”

床榻

有賣小木家火者。夫遠出。使婦守店。一人往買其床。還價既少。而銀水又低。爭值良久。勉強售之。次日。復來買榻。婦謂之曰。你昨日床上。討盡我的便宜了。今日榻上又來。

Business in bed

There was a dealer in furniture who went on a journey, leaving his wife to tend the shop. A man came to buy a bed, but the sum he offered was much lower than the asking price; they haggled for a long time, and in the end he got his way. The next day, he came to buy a couch. The woman said: “You already had your way with me yesterday on the bed. And now you come to do the same on the couch?”

一少年私鄰家之婦。聞叩門聲。知夫歸。迫甚。婦議以布囊盛之。懸于床側。夫問及。則紿以米。議定。啟門納夫。々見囊。覺其有異。問是何物。妻惶惧不即對。夫厲聲再問。少年不覺于囊中應曰。米。

Rice

A youth was having an affair with his neighbor’s wife, when they heard a knock on the door. Knowing that the husband was home, they were in a panic. The wife wrapped him up in a large sack, and placed him by the bed. If the husband should ask, they agreed, she would say that it was a sack of rice. She then went to open the door and welcome her husband home. When he saw the sack, he felt suspicious and asked her what it was. The wife was so nervous that she couldn’t answer him, and so the husband raised his voice and asked again. The youth could not help but reply from inside the sack: “I’m rice!”

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